**this is a vent of sorts....so feel free to skip past this one**
Will I ever learn to say "Let me get back to you" before I open my fat mouth and blurt out "Yes!". I am seriously kicking myself in the ass right now-I can't believe what I just did. I put that lousy part time job that I really don't like before my kids. What the hell is wrong with me????
On another day, it probably wouldn't be that big of a deal-but today it is. Today, Tool Time and Payback are away on a camping trip, so it's just me and the boys this weekend. I was scheduled to work from 4:30-9:30 tonight, and as much as I'm not thrilled with the idea-my boys are home alone. PeterSam is really responsible, and the neighbors always know when they are here alone. Is this ideal-no, could the State of FL nail me on this-maybe. But it is what it is, I'd lose $$ paying a sitter, and due to the financial distress that we are in-I have to work.
My Child Boss called me this morning, and asked me to come in at 3 so she can get out early. I SAID YES??????? How fucking stupid am I????? I hung up the phone, and after a few minutes started thinking about what I just did. Child Boss is 24, and single. I'm not stupid, I know she is not running home to a family-she is running home to the penis of the month and whatever drinking plans they have for tonight. I am sacrificing my kids for this? This job that I make a shitty $8 an hour at? This job that I really don't care for? I am shooting myself in the foot-AGAIN. I do this to myself ALL THE TIME.
What is that saying about Martyrs dying on the Cross? I'm done with it-I'm done with saying Yes at the drop of a hat, I'm done letting my kids take the back seat to a job. I'm done letting Child Boss abuse me because she knows I need the money. My kids, my family have got to come first. Yes, I took the job to help my family, but really, what good does it do if I have to sacrifice the welfare of my children? (okay that may be a bit of an exageration-it's only 1.5 hours difference)
I just made a phone call.......
Child Boss is not too pleased, but I don't give a rats ass. I told her getting there at 3 is impossible-and it is. G-man is at a birthday party that is done at 2. PeterSam is at a friends house until 2:30. Considering the driving-I will be in the car for a good 45 minutes picking them up-and it takes me 15 min. to get to the crappy job. (Why am I justifying this to anyone?) Child Boss asked "3:15, 3:30, what time?" I told her I would get back to her as soon as I knew. Screw You, you get paid your salary regardless of whether you stay or go-so don't push me to give you a set time.
Damn, I'm pissed. But at least I learned a lesson.